Offering: Doner Kebab
Establishment: Bifteki House, Glasgow
Date and time: 14th March 2017, 13:26
Price: £4.80
Seating: 6 Seats, very small ledge table
Date and time: 14th March 2017, 13:26
Price: £4.80
Seating: 6 Seats, very small ledge table
In the early spring of this year, the Doner Informer visited our beloved cousins in the west, the objective was plain and simple - sample the finest doner magic available in Scotland's so-called
"friendliest city". Instead, we came across Bifteki - located a stones throw away from the handy Glasgow Central Station - I'm very much glad the city planners were visionary enough to build the railway so near the doner heartland.
On this landmark visit, I was accompanied by three colleagues who failed to appreciate the kind offerings by the very delightfully mannered Turkish chap running the operation and they abruptly left to visit some sort of overpriced burger bar with the suggestion that we would reconvene later.
The man behind the counter was a true joy, who knew that he was dealing with a man trained in the (sometimes) dark arts of doner critiquing and attempted (but failed) to bribe me with a small slithered sample of doner overtures before the main event! It was around then that I lectured the chap that my integrity could not be bought and sold. I was also suspecting that he had mercenaries following me, probably from as far away as Edinburgh. My fears were alleviated when the gentleman appeared confused yet unmoved by the vocal rejection of his bribe. It was around then that I realised that this chap was genuinely just trying to be friendly and offering a decent customer service.
...the chilli sauce was so sweet that it could have been diluted and sold as a chilli juice drink, so sickly was this sauce...
When the kebab arrived, I decided to take a seat on one of the uncomfortable high seats facing the wall at a small table - this wasn't the ideal environment but I was well aware that many of the finest doner institutions in Scotland don't even offer this privilege.
The kebab was presented with the accompanying plastic fork was dipped into the red, almost orange looking spicy sauce. It was sweet. In fact, the chilli sauce was so sweet that it could have been diluted and sold as a chilli juice drink, so sickly was this sauce. This was perhaps the sweetest sauce I'd ever sampled in a doner kebab and it was no good thing. I'm well aware that chilli sauces in kebabs should really not have a bitter taste to them, in order to maximise that chilli bite - its important that some sweetness must be used to give it that glorious bite we all know and love. One of the greatest errors that doner establishments make though (this is up there with making a sauce with no heat) is churning out a sauce that is not chilli at all but just sugar. If you were drinking a can of Irn Bru with this kebab, you would be giving yourself your allocated sugar serving as an adult for about a week. Not only this but this does not serve the kebab well at all.
There was no accompanying salad sauce, this establishment either doesn't serve it or it was finished when I visited. They did have a yoghurt sauce though but I declined on the basis that it would have attacked the spiciness that I intended (but failed) to taste in the chilli sauce.
The meat was really nothing to write home about (but here I am). It was seriously standard fare with very little distinctive features - you would be able to get this kebab from any city in the UK (perhaps minus the chilli diluting syrup).
Overall, Bifteki House is not a great kebab place - its an OK kebab place with very little to offer in a presumably competitive market in Glasgow. This operation, I suspect receives the crux of its custom from lesser discerning nearby construction workers and area drunks. The price point of this kebab is very good as the quantity was somewhat favourable, the product on offer though less so. I now look forward to the £2.50 doner kebab my father has been singing hymns about after his recently concluded Doner Tour of Scotland, sponsored by Homebase.
Well I have found out why the chilli sauce is dreadfully sweet and sugary!
ReplyDeleteIn Scotland most places (a few exceptions) to save time and money they buy cheap Tomato Ketchup, dilute it with water, sometimes add sugar, then add chilli sauce powder and some other spices! This is of course awful and makes the chilli sauce sweet, which chilli sauce shouldnt be sweet.
In England/Wales (and some places in Scotland) they use Pizza sauce or tins of tomatos then blend it with fresh green chillis, fresh onions, fresh garlic and suitable spices. Which is really nice and they way it should be done.
Hopefully we can promote the right way to make the chilli sauce and kebab shops will listen and start to make chilli sauce the right way.
Also Kebab shops miss out many important salads, so I would recommend is, not just for this place but for all other Kebab shops in Glasgow/Scotland is to have what kebab shops have in other parts of the UK which is a big bowl of cucumber, big bowl of Pickled red cabbage, big bowl of pickled white cabbage, big bowl of tomatoes, bowl of Lemons, big bowl of lettuce, big bowl of onion, big bowl of cucumber and ask the customer what salad would they like? all or which Salad?
I have finally figured out why the Kebab shop chilli sauce is so sweet up in Glasgow and some places in Edinburgh, they use Pakora Sauce or a version of it. And Pakora sauce uses Tomato Ketchup. So NOTHING like what chilli sauce should be like.
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