Offering: Large Doner Kebab
Establishment: Uncle's Fish and Chips, George IV Bridge, Edinburgh
Date and time: 8th February 2017, 12:25
Price: £7.50 w/discount
Seating: 20+ comfy and spacious seats, café set up
I've been scoping this area for a number of years now and during the first few months, Uncle's Fish and Chips took over an additional unit next door and created a vast café space for itself, complete with comfy, bar-style seating. The presentation of this establishment is A+ - the pinnacle surroundings where a doner should be devoured. The problems though soon begin to show and they are not just salad deep...
Firstly, there was an odd situation communicating with the staff and trying to ascertain the suitable discount - the prices on display were for a 'shewarma wrap' but I asked for a doner kebab and was told it was more expensive than the shewarma which was priced at a respectable £5.80. In the end, with added local discount, I was a charged what seemed like a mammoth £7.50. If you ever decide to visit Marmaris during lunch hours for sitting in, you will be charged £6 - and the quantity of food served is easily a third greater. I was really shocked at the size of the kebab I received when it was placed in front of me - the main plate in Marmaris is easily the same size as the plate above but Uncle's is barely full, Marmaris almost entirely fills the plate and serves the pita bread separately!
Having to suffer what seemed like a ridiculous fifteen minute wait and whilst there were people getting their take-aways, I was the sole person in the café area. This was easily the longest I have ever had to wait for a doner kebab.
...the yogurt sauce was thick and creamy, a bit of a highlight in an otherwise grim affair. The chilli was seriously forgettable...
Another bone of contention was that previously, I sent a spy to this establishment to report back with findings - I was told of beautiful things but mainly that chips would be served with my kebab. Looking back, there were no chips. They would have been warmly welcomed on such a naked plate too, particularly after the £7.50 anal expansion that I suffered as a result of sampling this 'fun-sized' mistake.
The meat was cut super thin and it felt very much like it was cut so thin on purpose so to give the impression that the kebab was bigger than it was but this kebab probably had the meat quantity of the legendary Lazeez (possibly even less), bearing in mind that they charge £4.95 and you can still plonk yer arse down on one of their many uncomfortable seats. Another thing worth noting is that the image shows absolutely zero meat actually inside the pita bread - all the meat you see is all you get and cut so thin like wood shavings, this is easily the stingiest doner I've ever had. The meat quality was reasonable though, in fact pretty decent, it was considerably better than your standard fare.
The sauces were fairly average, the yogurt sauce was thick and creamy, a bit of a highlight in an otherwise grim affair. The chilli was seriously forgettable. Other than the texture, the flavour and heat level was lacking and dull. Another interesting note was that I had to specifically ask for the chilli sauce; I only received the yogurt sauce initially and this was certainly a first as everyone and their Nan(n) knows that you would always get offered the chilli sauce over anything else when kebabbin' hard.
Whilst this kebab is photogenic, central and served in possibly the nicest environment in which you can eat a doner kebab in Edinburgh, the content and price point doesn't allow me to recommend it to anyone. Without a discount, this kebab must cost a shade below £10 and that's just horrendous! If you ever do come to Uncles, don't come for a kebab, but lets face it, what else you are you going to order? This kebab was aw fur coat and nae knickers.
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