Large Doner Kebab, The Best Kebab House, Edinburgh

Offering: Large Doner Kebab

Establishment: Best Kebab House, Leith

Date and time:  various times over 2017

Price: £6.50

Seating: 3 high rise chairs

Over the years many working-class areas the length and breadth of the country have become home to certain kind of urbanite, providing of course that area had more than a bookie and a pub. What’s more, these areas are usually not as homogenous as the more exclusive parts of the city; oftentimes, containing a variety of people of different creeds and colours making up this melting pot reflecting in the diversity of choice available for shoppers and kebab conquerors alike. Leith is one such area. Gentrified almost beyond recognition, in Leith Walk it was common place to see drunken, obnoxious good-time boys on the first day of British Summertime proclaiming their own greatness with gleeful gusto and rank self-awareness; the rancid junkie in his casual stupor or indeed a charming character, ‘Buzz' known for his transcendental aerosol gas intake, who would make friends with any of the aforementioned with the ease and similar objective of a Salamander Street operative extracting coin from said inebriate.

Whilst these inhabitants still exist in Leith today, there has been a rapid intake of the English hipster crowd, accelerated though perhaps not sparked by the emergence of student flats for Edinburgh University residents in the Shrub Hill area of Leith Walk. It is now more common to see sheepskin coats, thick rimmed glasses with Apple laptops in hand than Buzz or his sympathisers exiting one of the nearby pubs. Slowly but surely, the historical characters have either died off or moved further towards the Foot of the Walk to nearby Junction Street where pubs are still cheap and stabbings unreported.

One thing that’s not changed over the decades though is that Best Kebab House is still regarded as a Leith institution. We’ve previously spoken about the bad blood that once existed between them and the owners of Original Best Kebab House and sadly, after much controversy, the OBKH lost its operating license due to a number of violations though mainly thanks to operating after 1AM – a practice it was not entitled to. It’s a shame really. The chilli sauce was in a different league – it genuinely lived up to its name whereas the more common establishments serve a glamorised tomato ketchup.

The meat, with its smoother spaced touch gives the impression of being slightly cheaper than the OBKH fare and thus less chewy, it also doesn't taste tremendously well seasoned.

Some years ago, before the conflict, Best Kebab House used to operate from the now defunct Express Best Kebab (or something, God knows what it was called but it lasted around two months and was quite frankly sub-par) and previously OBKH. Back when it was a united entity, it truly was the best kebab in Leith. Utterly unrivaled on this end of Princes' Street, the closest kebab by proximity was Leith Walk Kebab and Pizza House across the road from Pilrig Street, once adorned with Coca Cola signs and unquestionably not worth the effort. At Elm Row, there is a place that's had more names than Buzz has had aerosol cans, it was half decent when it was known as Chillies though for the last ten or so years it's been known as Olympos.

The Best Kebab House of 2005 was the pinnacle of doner achievement in Edinburgh. The sauce was identical to OBKH, the famous potatoes had the most delicious thick coating, one would forget chips existed. Best Kebab House in 2017, whilst not living up to those lofty standards - the product still packs punch. The chilli sauce, though delightfully textured tastes more common, quite sweet and has a runny viscosity, it is still a handy companion to curly doner slithers. The meat, with its smoother spaced touch gives the impression of being slightly cheaper than the OBKH fare and thus less chewy, it also doesn't taste tremendously well seasoned.

With prevalent red lettuce and the timeless salad sauce, the kebab does a lot of things right. The pita bread, despite being unremarkable is sturdy and carries its contents proud. The accompanying tatties are still a draw, with salad sauce and pickled cabbage they are a devourer's delight however they're a shadow of themselves. Previously, the coating of the most delectable fried chicken had been sealed upon a roast potato whereas now, its as if some of the batter from lesser chicken once shared a tray with the potato. The kebabbery is such a clean place and the seating area, whilst small is spotless, I often have no problems parking myself here for 15 or so minutes though at times, it can be busy and you might be tempted by the fried chicken across the road.    

Despite the changes in Leith Walk, despite the change in ownership of Best Kebab House, its new recipes and its ever changing clientele - I can't blame the hipsters for diminishing the quality of the beloved kebab sold here. It's still worth a visit, serves a mean doner and with an original side dish that you simply won't get elsewhere in Edinburgh. Whilst the hipsters might have chased away the beloved Arthur Willaims, who was rumoured to be alienated by the hummus in the chilled aisles of Scotmid, it would seem that Best Kebab House will always remain in some form or another.

Verdict: 7/10

 

Battle of the Babs - Javits v Javits (v Javits)

Offering: Doner Kebab

Establishment: Javits (Gilmerton), Edinburgh (JGil)

Date and time:  10th March 2017, 16:27

Price: £6.50

Seating: No seats!

Offering: Doner Kebab Wrap

Establishment: Javits (Granton), Edinburgh (JGra)

Date and time: 12th March 2017, 17:08

Price: £7.00

Seating: Over 10 seats and 5 tables

For years now, I've heard the considerable fanfare behind the much acclaimed Javits eateries - their kebabs have been critically acclaimed by various media outlets as well as the kebab experts. There also appears to be a difference in the product being offered at these takeaways - in 2016 JGra was nominated in the Kebab Awards whereas in 2017, JGil received this particular accolade. This has lead me to consider that both of these establishments are perhaps serving a different product. I have however observed that they are indeed owned by the same person as one of the links above would clarify. One notable annoyance of these establishments, like the many all over the country is that they both open 4PM onwards - this doesn't make for the most convenient of reviews - adding to this is their distance from Edinburgh City Centre, however I do concede that both these are well catered for by the buses.


When I got off the number 29 bus at Gilmerton, I almost had a heart attack - from the outside, it looked as though my fears had been confirmed - there was not going to be a place in this eatery where I could sit and analyse this doner specimen. When I entered, I had feelings of doubt - I should jump back on a bus and just forget I ever tried Javits, it couldn't possibly be that great anyway, considering how far out of town it was. I spoke to the artisan's assistant, asking him if he would have a small chair whereby I could park myself and thus penetrate this kebab with the thrusting energy of a hundred hyenas feasting on a blue whale. Again, I was left disappointed but there was a solution, albeit a compromise - it was suggested that I use the chest-height counter as an analysis point to which I gladly complied as the photos above demonstrate. The lack of seating and distance from the city centre might put a doner seeker off, however if one perseveres in this case the toil is sure to pay off.

If anything, it is maybe only slightly disappointing that there is no whopping great big pickled chilli pepper on top - like the angel on a Christmas Tree.

Javits know what salad to serve with a kebab! There are no unnecessary cucumbers, the lettuce is finely cut, red cabbage too (it really is shocking when there's no red cabbage in a doner!) and thinly sliced onions. If anything, it is maybe only slightly disappointing that there is no whopping great big pickled chilli pepper on top - like the angel on a Christmas Tree.

I did ask for double helpings of chilli sauce and the chap behind the counter, Danny said that I'd love his sauce; usually I take such declarations with a pinch of salt but in earnest, this sauce was truly magic! Unlike any other chilli sauce I'd sampled before, the burn lies in the strong kick of ginger one feels as a latter after note. It has a thick, vegetable textured consistency, in common with the likes of Original Best Kebab House and Pasha -  but there's been no sauce that's really come close to have such a distinctive taste in Edinburgh, it really stands on its own and its a sauce that everyone needs to try, up there with the OBK sauce but for slightly different reasons.

The salad sauce was a more straight forward affair as usual. It was the tangy light brown common companions to those beastly meaty slithers.

The doner meat was one of the few doners I've tried where I instantly knew that it was seriously high quality. Most kebabs, even though they might be a solid 9, their meat takes an unremitting 40 second taste analysis; not the case with this - the quality hits you instantly and almost unlike any other bab I'd had before. There's a really chewy texture to these slices, not entirely different to Topkapi but a thinner cut and, I'd say higher quality - there's also considerably more meat content in this kebab than pretty much most kebabs I've reviewed at this point, barring the Madras Cottage madness.

The tremendous displays of meaty shish cubes - the meat looked like one of the finest displays I'd ever witnessed in a babbery and put many others to shame.

The pita bread was probably the only thing that let this kebab down - it was hard, tough and felt as though it had been partially left out overnight. I came to conclude that this would likely have been the case because I was probably the first person of the day to have ordered a kebab -it's an experience I'm well acquainted with. I find it hard to believe that staff here would be unable to prepare a pita bread as a general standard and for that reason, I am going to disregard the dodgy pita on this occasion but if it was to happen consistently, I will update this review but I hope that such a thing is unlikely.

On the subject of staff, this place has without doubt, the nicest staff in any Edinburgh kebab shop I've ever visited. Whilst I was tearing deep into this bab, one of the kind staff members dumped a few more chunks of their delicious doner on my kebab -this has never happened to me and it gave me the impression that these guys really care about how they treat their customers - not many people really say that about Marmaris on South Clerk Street for example. The staff even went on to introduce themselves to me and asked me my name too; don't worry though, my pseudonym was not discussed. The staff were also really humble and didn't have the bravado of a place that had been nominated for the British Kebab Awards; the chap from OBK could really learn a lot from these guys. They also gave me free reign of their chilli sauce too, that was great and it reminded me of when I was charged for extra sauce by the guy from OBK.

Whilst I was satisfying my appetite for doner, I witnessed a fellow on first name terms with the staff buying a doner wrap. It was probably close to twice the size of the OBK wrap offering. I observed how the wrap bread was cooked from scratch and placed in a 12-inch pizza tray, covering it in entirety. I also witnessed in abhorrence how the customer then requested brown sauce on his kebab - what a disgusting man! It was at that point I decided that when I returned, I would most certainly be enjoying a Javit wrap. It's beautifully designed architecture, so divine to the eye - I decided then that in the coming days, I would visit the sister babbery in Granton - I would have to wait two days before I could rekindle my deepest desires for kebab perfection.

I took the number 19 out to Granton, it took around 45 minutes on a crisp Sunday and when I got there, the place was a hive of activity - these guys were doing great business. There were around eight members of staff behind the various counters and there were customers waiting in the seated area of the takeaway. The takeaway itself, from the outside looks exceptional; there's a hint of 1950's America with it's big chrome thick-set signage, huge glass panel windows displaying a café style liveliness you don't get in many babberies outwith the rush at 02:45 when the revellers are starting to deplete. Everything about this place is shiny, it's clearly a very tightly run operation.

...served looking very much looking like the phallic beast of Gilmerton two days prior.

Observing the displays, the meat fillets did not look as wholesome as those on display at JGil, they looked considerably less impressive and you could tell instantly that the meat being used for the shish kebabs was not as high a quality as the meat in JGil. It reminded me of the chefs words in JGil - he said how he always purchased the highest end meat being sold by his supplier. He also told me that his doner meat was not made in-house but supplied from Glasgow and at great cost - he would always ask for the most expensive rotation and all this is apparent when one looks at the display offerings in many other babberies around the country.

When I ordered, I noticed that the Granton eatery was generally 50 pence cheaper on most things - I assumed I was getting a slight bargain. Again, the same procedure as JGil seemed to be taking place: the wrap was made from scratch; placed in the oven in a 12-inch pizza pan; topped up to complete capacity with mammoth helpings of doner sustenance; topped again with the finest salad in the kebab family; lathered at immense volume with red chilli sauce with a slighter helping of a tangy sister salad sauce; wrapped tight with it's content seeping through the thin bread base but not enough to destruct this architectural marvel and wrapped in two layers of paper and served looking very much looking like the phallic beast of Gilmerton two days prior.

As I sat down on one of the plentiful chairs I gazed in supreme delight at the monument before me - this was going to be great! I bit into the top of the kebab slowly due to the delicate nature of the operation and I was slightly underwhelmed - this was not the same product being sold in JGil. The meat was good but it never had the textural quality of it's sister operation; the chilli sauce was quite unremarkable - though it had nice chunks of vegetables within, it never had that ginger kick that made JGil such a force to be reckoned with. As I started to slowly unpack the wrap, the kebab was still keeping itself together but mainly due to my experience in handling such foodstuffs - the sauces were getting everywhere though. As I polished it off, I was aware that I had eaten a pretty decent kebab, it was gigantic, it was also quite well priced but I couldn't help but feel it was generally unremarkable. Perhaps if I had tried JGra first, I might have a had a different opinion but I fear I may not have bothered to venture out to JGil if I had. One thing was for certain though - I was not going to eat another morsel that day whatsoever.

There's a disparity that can't be ignored. As far as I'm concerned, when doner in considered, JGil with it's understated and humble exterior outfoxes JGra in almost every way - all it needs is a table and two seats. Now, if only I never realised that there is also a Javits in Wester Hailes, seemingly paying tribute to Team Fortress 2.

Verdict:

Javits of Gilmerton - 9/10

 

Javits of Granton - 7/10

Medium Lamb Doner Kebab, Turkish Carry Out, Edinburgh

Offering: Medium Doner Kebab

Establishment: Turkish Carry Out, Easter Road, Edinburgh

Date and time: 3rd December 2016 16:32

Price: £5.50

Seating: 4 chairs, 2 tables

For quite some considerable time, in around 2008 I turned a bad habit into an absurd hobby - to grab a pizza or kebab shortly after midnight. You see, times were tough - I wasn't working full time and had very few active interests at that point in my life. I was however interested in daily doner from the Turkish Carry Out, it was a long enough walk away for me to feel as though I'd done something productive with my evening but God knows, I was just fooling myself - the kebab wasn't all that. After one too many disappointing kebabs, I turned my back never to return. I was especially put off by a huge amount of charred doner meat I found in my kebab, this piece consisted of around 40% of the actual meat portion in the kebab; I was disappointed and said my goodbyes.

When I returned after seven or so years, I noticed that times had changed; the establishment was now twice the size, they had bought up the premises next door and knocked down various walls, they now served an array of fried foods, foods associated with chip shops, deep fried and displayed in a glass metal counter - aka: heart attack food!

To the left, the familiar man, thin metal glasses, dark, clean shaven, quite short and neutral expression; the type of man that had carved doner for most of his adult life. He was silent. He knew I had returned but he never let on. After ordering my large doner kebab, I sat at the table by the window and admired the spicy onions - I could smell the mint from their sauce and I thought how I never remembered this accompaniment all those years ago - such a delightful touch, the kind no kebab should be without. That was my thinking before I tucked into this devilish delight.

I was also in awe of the size of the box. I always think that when the box is this big, the kebab has to be big enough too as no self-respecting babbery would allow their kebab to be dwarfed by a large box - why would you? So that every customer feels robbed? It just wouldn't make sense.

I lifted the fork and and pressed it deep into the ridges of the thin lamb shavings before me. The lamb was tough, it had developed a slight dryness as it had been rotating for so long without being cut, it wasn't too bad though - it did have a very pronounced peppery taste. I thought how this was something I could get used to.

The slithers were so thin, they made the contents of the pita seem deceptive.

This was something that I missed. As I carried on de-mystifying this doner, I started to sample the salad, starting with those beautiful looking onions, I lifted them to my mouth and was overwhelmed with the mint in a sweet red sauce - what is this? I expected a hot, chilli spicy sauce with minty overtones, not a sweet minty one! It was around this time that the dream took a sharp twist. I again looked at the doner meat, I scrambled some on a fork and it was peppery. Overwhelmingly peppery. The slithers were so thin, they made the contents of the pita seem deceptive. There wasn't much in there at all, it was all being bulked up by thinly structured doner meat. I thought, what the hell, get some of that sauce on there - the chilli sauce tasted of very little - it was extremely mild, again it looked great but this kebab was the equivalent of staring at the cake displays of Patisserie Valerie. It looked incredible but the more I eat, just like the ubiquitous cake shop, the more the illusion was shattered.

Amazed at the large chilli peppers that accompanied this dish, I shovelled all the salad into the deceptive pita - I thought this would would the true judge of it's character, this moment, the moment of truth - the lift. I took one great big bite for mankind, my face covered in the white of the garlic dressing. I was immediately disappointed. I was overwhelmed with bread - the doner meat itself was far too thin to have made any impact and it lead to the complete absence of satisfaction. I did taste the mint from those spicy onions, the big peppers that accompanied this kebab, the mildly peppery sauce but there was no depth. The bread, whilst soft was also soggy steamed up - this was not a great combination but would not have annoyed me too much had it not been for how thin and deceptive the whole experience was. I'm not sure I would return any time soon - this looks like it's for the pub-goers next door and not your average kebab connoisseur.

Verdict: 5/10

Small Doner Kebab, Turkish Doner Inn, Edinburgh.

Offering: Small Doner Kebab

Establishment: Turkish Doner Inn, Edinburgh

Date and time:  10th of November 2016, 17:30

Price: £6

Seating: 2 small seats at one table


1975 would go on to be known for a lot of things - the first episode of Fawlty Towers; the release of Queen's, Bohemian Rhapsody; the year Margaret Thatcher defeated Edward Heath in the Conservative Party leadership election. All of these events pale in comparison though to the introduction of the doner kebab to Scotland.

The Turkish Doner Inn (I am told by the thick-moustachioed, burly man behind the fluorescent display) was the first place in Scotland to offer the delights of doner on these cold streets. The place is not much to look at but there is a curious and strange sense of historical significance, a bit like hearing your child's first word but more momentous.

This kebab is sadly quite small and to pay a price of £6 for something so dinky seems a bit unfortunate but then again, it costs a fair bit off the £20 for entry into Edinburgh Castle and having a kebab here is of considerably greater historical value. Nearby, there are a multitude of places to enjoy a delightful kebab - Pasha or Three Coins (expect a review soon) that offer a large kebab at the price of the small shown above.

Upon the lift, the bread falls apart like a kebab virgin being introduced to the mighty doner for the first time in their life, minus the delight...

Another notable aspect of this kebab, for me was that the salad was not all that colourful; it's not the end of the world though as upon first contact, our hero is greeted by a smooth, sweet chilli sauce combined with a tangy salad brother. The best way to describe this chilli would be to think of Tangy Toms in liquid form, particularly when you reach the end of the packet and you have all the overly flavoured crumbs at the bottom.

The meat itself is reasonable, it's nothing to write home about but it is indeed delightful enough in its own way. It is by no means plentiful though, this is most unfortunate as the chilli sauce really dances samba with those slithers of lamb.

The pita bread is soft; it therefore has very little in the way of sturdiness. Upon the lift, the bread falls apart like a kebab virgin being introduced to the mighty doner for the first time in their life, minus the delight. The only time I find the pita falling apart to be a good sign is when the doner itself is so plentiful that the pita can't contain its joy at being one with you, this is not the case here though - the meat quantity is not what I have come to expect from a £6 entrance fee.

Overall, this kebab was decent, not great. The chilli sauce has been an unchanged recipe for the last 40 years or so and with good reason, that sauce really shines on the lamb but the offering itself is a little stingy. I would take people here in order to enjoy the historical importance, to show my grand-children what their ancestors had to see, every other time though, I might just bomb it to Pasha.

Verdict: 6/10

Regular Lamb Doner Wrap, Original Best Turkish Kebab House.

Offering: Regular Doner Wrap

Establishment: Original Best Turkish Kebab House, Edinburgh

Date and time: 29th October 2016, 01:00

Price: £5.50

Seating: Yes, very limited
 
The Original Best Turkish Kebab House has stood in it's existing form for around two years or so, it was once a joint venture with the owners of The Best Kebab House, however a disagreement resulted in management going their separate ways and today they are divided only by a pub* and presumably a loyal clientele. These aren't the only "best kebab" establishments in the North and North East Edinburgh area as in Abbeyhill, the Kurdish Best Kebab House has also been sighted.

Now, to the kebab itself, with a vegetable textured chilli sauce that burns without its yoghurt friend, this chilli sauce will normally only be there if you specifically request it. It is amongst the best chilli sauces I've ever tried with doner. This lady in red will gently kiss your tongue upon first touch with an immediately subtle yet full flavour, the further up your tongue she travels though, be prepared for it's burn.

The other accompanying chilli sauce is a milder, sweeter affair, it has a smooth consistency, much more common but by no means poor.

...it is amongst the best chilli sauces I've ever tried with doner. This lady in red will gently kiss your tongue upon first touch with an immediately subtle yet full flavour...

The bread is identical to a Mexican burrito wrap, an alternative to the rougher Arabic Khubz bread you might see more often in lesser establishments (but that is by no means an indictment on such places, rather a mere pattern).

The volume of the kebab itself is slightly smaller than it could be, with that in mind, the owners would do well to provide at this price-point - it could leave an enthusiast craving.

The salad was basic traditional with no surprises (lettuce, onions, tomatoes).

The meat was, I'm told, 100% organic lamb. It tastes good too, the texture is slightly rubbery and maybe drier than average at first kiss but the further she travels, the more you realise you are not eating a bulked out product - you're eating a true, rich lamb contender.

Verdict: 7/10 

*Updated images from Google maps inconveniently shows a bus covering views of both establishments, therefore the image linked is from 2012.

Doner; Reclaiming Our Heritage From The Elite.

Around 40 years ago, if you wanted to eat a quick healthy meal after a hard days graft, you only had the choice of the local chip shop establishment at best, or if you were particularly poor, a packet of Golden Wonder would have to suffice. That was until a new exotic food from the continent started appearing on side streets and main thoroughfares; Scotland, the UK and the rest of the world had changed forever.

It was around this time that analysts noted the stark contrasts in the British socio-political landscape, such striking differences that still reverberate to this day. Indeed it would be the late 1970's when Margaret Thatcher would be appointed Prime Minister and the first notes of punk-rock had been playing in underground nightclubs in what seemed like urban wastelands, shattering all preconceived notions of what popular music could be.

Some 15 Years earlier, the Americans relentlessly raced the Russians to the moon and when Neil Armstrong symbolically first step foot on the reflective surface of that world, he was underwhelmed that he didn't find what he was looking for.

For thousands of years, books had been written; schools of thought had formed; entire civilisations had emerged, perished and re-emerged. The greatest thinkers of all time were about to be humbled: Stephen Hawking, Albert Einstein, Zlatan. A momentous occasion was upon us!

Soon the day would come. Soon the day would come when a meal so delightful in it's presentation, so exquisite in its posture. So ergonomically advanced and ahead of it's time, boasting a mere 1100 calories...  Soon the day would dawn.

What Armstrong was looking for had been happening for centuries in the Middle East. I have no idea why he went to the moon. Neither did he.

Like the Whirling Dervish, the food known to rotate on a spit was almost upon us - it's rough textured slithers of only the choicest quality, cut to perfection by the only the most qualified artisan, complete with chef's hat, charming apron, preferably a thick moustache and non-native English speaking accent.

...overnight, those who had once been so powerful, saw themselves slip off the radar as each sharpened knife tore into grilled minced lamb; the regiments began revolting, the army as a unified single force tore through the establishment...

One incredibly fateful day, it was as if the birth of a new nation had taken place. A people united only by a shared desire of what culinary perfection could be. An unstoppable desire, a zeitgeist unlike any before it, a true moment of wonder was upon us!


As the slithers of delightful joy tumbled on the pitta, dancing on the bread like heavens children or the notes of a harp, a moment previously unimaginable had just taken place. When it rained a mysterious red along with the greenery one would only have seen in exotic gardens, topped up and presented to our subjects, the looks of amazement and euphoria were unquestionable.

Neil Armstrong finally found what he was looking for.

Golden Wonder would one day catch up, but it was too late. For by then the providential impact of the Turkish community on Scotland and the UK could never be reversed. The edible champion had successfully orchestrated what would go on to be considered one of the biggest, most relentless coup d'etats of all time.

There were suggestions...campaigns; demonstrations even!! This is where true power lies. This magnificent foodstuff must replace the face of the Queen on British currency. It was as if overnight, those who had once been so powerful, saw themselves slip off the radar as each sharpened knife tore into grilled minced lamb; the regiments began revolting, the army as a unified single force tore through the establishment like...well, like the artisan chef himself.

The Doner Kebab had finally arrived in the UK.