Doner Kebab, Moratti, Edinburgh

Offering: Doner Kebab

Establishment: Moratti, Edinburgh

Date and time:  23rd September 2018, 01:55

Price: £4.80

Seating: 2 basic tables 2 or 3 chairs and a side table with no chairs.


In this ultra competitive doner environment, one can easily overlook establishments of great repute. This might occur when an inn is so understated and in such a location that when passing, you are busy to-ing and fro-ing God knows where. Oftentimes, such an establishment has the most inconvenient opening hours that its easy to think that the place in question has long gone out of business as its rarely a thought or considered a viable option. Such a place exists in the Cowgate. Its called Moratti.

Owned and operated by Arabs* (like most don zones!), Moratti has been an understated champion for at least thirteen or so years but likely many more. I first visited Moratti in around 2005 and I remember ordering a pizza; the delightful crust and the right amount of grease to give the experience that full fat flavour.

Other reasons this place barely features on anyone's radar is also because it appears to be a two-man operation; they don't do deliveries. Its also situated exactly where the Cowgate stops getting much footfall. You know the place. It's where the new buildings start. You only ever go down there if you're A: new in town and want to see what's down there, maybe visit Dynamic Earth, B: been chucked out of a club, pished oot yer tits and want to forget about it all with some good old fashioned seclusion or C: a student wanker that stays in one of those horrible new builds. Still, there was not much else down that way other than some formerly affordable housing.

In fact, kebabs should only ever come in one size and that size, sizable.

The service here is always friendly - every time I've visited, I've been struck by how pleasant the man behind the counter is. His curiosity always piques when he sees an unfamiliar face and engages in a gentle discussion on doner warfare. Oddly, there always seems to be an abundance of American visitors to this eatery - every time I enter there are friendly Americans, usually students waiting to chow down delights rare in their homeland.

The kebab comes in only one size - its not gigantic but it is substantial. In fact, kebabs should only ever come in one size and that size sizable. A lot of places charge you north of five quid for a few slithers of their carved meat and send you on their way whereas most places that do only one size tend to leave you satisfied with their portions at least.

Immediately I am disappointed by the salad on the side - this is a minor inconvenience. The default stance should be salad upon the meat, the meat inside the carbs. The sauce is very light, slightly tangy, tomato based but mostly not very hot. It's a like a Pole's idea of a spicy sauce. There was an option of youghurt based garlic sauce that I opted to omit, being more inclined to a tangy salad liquor but the bar was dry. The meat had a satisfying moistness and a very delicate chew. As the evening progressed, the gradual lift was a monumental event, peaking at first bite the softness of the pita complimenting the slight sauce and the meaty collision. Whilst the salad was missing the more obvious suspects such as a red cabbage, its lighter leafed alternative seemed to fill the void nicely.

At a grand total of only £4.80, this doner kebab is the best you can get in the city centre, that is to say if your idea of the city centre does not extend to Dalry Road where you can get something rivaling this work of art in Lazeez. This price, this size makes this kebab a pilgrimage for Donerites in the city.

Verdict: 9/10

 

Adendum: It has come to my attention that the owner is Algerian but the charismatic carvers adding steel to the operation are in fact French-Italian and Dutch.

Large Doner Kebab, Lazeez Tandoori, Edinburgh.

Offering: Large Doner Kebab

Establishment: Lazeez, Edinburgh

Date and time: 13th November 2016, 18:05

Price: £4.95

Seating: Around 10 seats


In 2010, I was working late nights at the western side of town - I never knew a thing about any doner establishments further west than Lothian Road. One autumn night that year, that was to change forever.  

This unassuming, slightly down-trodden looking takeaway caught my eye. I have a real passion for places that look quite rough on the outside and maybe even on the inside, but once you get past the shabbiness, you are greeted by people who have worked day and night to provide delicious food to people in the know (see Kebab Mahal [expect a review soon], The Sicilian Pastry Shop and Marcella.) They are usually run by salt of the earth people that have been plying their trade for decades in the same spot. There seems to be ten a penny pretentious eateries but gems like those mentioned above are really what good food's all about. And a good bab.


If kebabs were like the girl or boy you've been seeing for a while, the doner from Lazeez would be something akin to your weekend plaything; as soon as you see it, you know you want it, you'll devour it for all it's worth and you'll probably cry yourself to sleep at night when it's gone and you can't have your wicked way with it once more.

Remember the time you first had a kebab? Do you remember the feeling of satisfaction after you finished it? Do you remember how you're life changed forever? Would you like to feel that again? Go to Lazeez. Go there now.

You'd be forgiven for thinking that this place is not going to offer much, truth is though, it offers everything you might want from an Pakistani/Indian takeaway.

When I received the kebab, it was handed to me in a tight paper wrap; quite unconventional. When I took my seat, I was informed by the lady behind the counter that I should have told her I was sitting in, she would have served the kebab in a plate, no problem I said, I was happy to eat this as is.

The photo above, to me is a work of art. This is what kebabs in the UK are - they look nasty but incredible, something that would make some cower in fear and other ravish it's very spot. It's the imagery above, as well as seeing the doner on the spit that makes certain people turn their nose up at the thought of a kebab (but they'll happily eat sausages and burgers!) and what makes the other half's stomach growl in madness and desire. I am very much the latter.

The cuts of lamb* on this kebab are a thickness once only ever dreamt off. Nice thick cuts, the kind that you really enjoy swallowing in satisfaction. This kebab was definitely one of the most satisfying I've ever eaten.

...it only burst at the lower seams in grand merriment when its plentiful lamb contents could no longer be contained...

Upon the gracious lift, so stunning was the mouthful: the sauces, not remotely domineering but at the same time, just, understated yet making true impact on their subtle spiciness, not like the sugary red-coloured vegetables you get in some places but rather both youghurt and chilli were so well-balanced, so well adjusted to the texture of the lamb that it was breathtaking piece of culinary perfection; the lamb cuts, the thickness of which must have taken a long time to perfect; the pitta itself, whilst generic, it was cooked to magnificence defined - it only burst at the lower seams in grand merriment when its plentiful lamb contents could no longer be contained!

This succulent piece of doner grandeur could only have been crafted by a master artisan at the very top of their game.

As I saw myself out; my mind altered; my stomach in doner-induced ecstasy - I asked the Scottish-accented Pakistani lady whether they make the chilli sauce themselves: "Yes, did you like it?" "No..." I responded. Before adding "...it was reasonable." You have to keep them on their toes - before you know it, they're begin resting on their laurels.

Verdict: 9/10  

 

*After a further visit, I was informed by this establishment that the meat they use for their doner is in fact a mixture of lamb and beef.